The Funniest Cat Sleeping Positions!
It seems cats have more sleeping positions than any other animal, and they seem perfectly comfortable in any way shape or form that position will take them, even if it seems to be breaking all laws of physics and comfort.
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”
The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”
The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”
“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”
“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”
“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.”
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
“What are you doing?” asks the wife.
The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are you doing?” she asks.
The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.” golf
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”
“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.”
Weird Facts About the Human Body
We may think, after spending all these years in our bodies, that we know all they can do. However, there are many things about the human body (and some still being discovered) that will surprise or even shock you! Here are some weird facts about the human body, with a great truth waiting for you at the end!
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, “It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.”
The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, “And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock’n’roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the
“Thank you, Father,” answered the young priest. “I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth.”
“All of these ideas have been well and good,” said the elderly priest, “but I’m afraid you’ve gone too far with the drive-thru confessional.”
“But, Father,” protested the young priest, “my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!”
“Yes,” replied the elderly priest, “and I appreciate that.
But the flashing neon sign, ‘Toot ‘n Tell or Go to Hell’ cannot stay on the church roof.
It’s a classic story of gentrification.
The tourists move in and start taking pictures. The lakeside rents skyrocket. The businesses get pushed out. What’s a Loch Ness Monster to do but pack up and leave?
In what may turn out to be a huge hoax, a man traveling in Windermere, England captured what appears to be Nessie herself rising from the waters some 300 miles from her mythical Scottish home in Loch Ness. Unlike the typical, grainy picture of the Loch Ness sightings, the animal in this photo is remarkably (unbelievably?) clear.
Here’s the original photo,taken by the anonymous traveler:
And here’s a magnified version of the alleged lake monster:
We can hear you guffawing all the way from our office in New York City, readers. So what if the photo happens to be blurry on the same plane of focus as the stunningly sharp creature. So what if it happened to be released immediately after Scottish banks promised an exodus if the country votes “Yes” on its independence. And so what if even the Daily Mail happened to raise its eyebrow at the authenticity of the photo.
It must be real because the agency that sold us the photo thinks it might be!
“At first, we thought it was a swan or goose,” James Ebdon of Autographer said. “Initially we were excited, then skeptical, and then we started laughing. Who knows what it is — maybe some kids messing about — whatever it is we will leave it to the experts.”
In the agency’s version of the story, the unnamed photographer set up his tripod to take photos automatically throughout the day. When he returned from lunch to download the images, he found the “creature” above.
UPDATE: Some readers have pointed out that this creature could actually be “Bownessie,” Lake Windermere’s own mythological lake monster named after a nearby town. BBC aired a documentary about Bownessie, and while it does seem illogical that the Loch Ness Monster would travel from Scotland to England — or that it exists at all — we’d like to point out the difference in the spinal structure between Bownessie and this new photo. It looks a lot more like the Loch Ness Monster. Also, it’s probably photoshopped.
What do you think?
CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story stated that Windermere is in Scotland. It’s not. It’s in England.