Clive White’s Blog

Clivewhite.co.uk

BOY SCOUTS VISIT US MILITARY

This is an exact replication of a National Public Radio interview between a female broadcaster and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going [...]

Beach bums

That Kodak moment

Boxing OAP gives burglar a beating

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Gregory McCalium was battered by the 72-year-old

This is the horrific picture of a burglar who was beaten up by the pensioner whose home he had just broken into.
When Gregory McCalium, 23, illegally made his way into the house of 72-year-old Frank Cortis, he must have imagined he had picked an easy target.
Little [...]

One sentence stories

Stories told in one sentence. Some are funny, some are poignant some are just weird.  Here are a few examples
:When I was 5 or so my mom would tell me to lie down before she tied my tie and I just now realized at the age of 19 that she did this because she’s a funeral [...]

Great view of the beach Aruba

THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE

If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution is simple: Eat it in [...]

Lego food

Someone famous died

CHANGING A LIGHTBULB

How many country and western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four: one to change it; one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one; one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one; and one to go “Yeeeee-Haw!” and throw his [...]

Cartoon

Brain teaser

What can go over the water and through the water without getting wet?
answer in comments

Thought for the day

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Sunglasses bigger than bikini

DUMB CRIMINALS STORIES

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES…THEY COULD COME IN HANDYA repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard [...]

Japan giving us weird fo fifty years

Lily Allen wardrobe malfunction

100 pounds of pot uncovered in casket

Body of evidence: Pot was found in a casket
An empty casket stored in a van yielded nearly 100 pounds (45 kilograms) of marijuana after a traffic stop.
William Dale Crock of Cave City, Arkansas, is in jail on a marijuana possession charge, plus traffic violations.

Dallas police say Crock was arrested when bundles of marijuana were discovered [...]

Topless on the beach Aruba

Topless on the beach

Glastonbury revellers arrived in their wellies and left with a tan

 

Pink ladies: Festival-goers don bikinis to keep cool – although those wigs must be hot

Glastonbury revellers went from suffering trench foot to sunstroke in the space of 24 hours.
The thousands of music fans at the three-day event were hit by lightning storms over the weekend but as they pack up their tents today they can [...]

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