Clive White’s Blog

British Transport Police were called to a train station in Inverness, Scotland, after worried railway staff identified a model haggis dressed in a tartan kilt as a possible security threat.
The trouble-making kilted Haggis caused a security meltdown (Picture: HEMEDIA)

The unaccompanied papier-mache haggis was put on a train at Kirkcaldy in Fife from where it travelled for over three hours and across 114 miles to its final destination.

The haggis, believed to have been part of a student art project, caused a major security breach when it arrived in Inverness later that day.

The 4ft tall haggis, sporting a pink kilt and ‘honest sonsie face’, was discovered by shocked passengers in a luggage compartment on the train before the alarm was raised.

Staff failed to see the funny side of the stunt and called in BTP officials who were waiting for the package when it arrived.

Officers promptly escorted the problematic mock-up savoury pud, which read ‘this haggis needs friends’, off the premises.

The joke may have something to do with the annual Scottish celebration Burns Night which took place on Wednesday, an event which haggis is traditionally associated with.
British Transport Police and rail staff deal with ‘unaccompanied haggis’ (Picture: HEMEDIA)

Thorpe Park officials order an urgent redesign of its new £20 million rollercoaster The Swarm after test dummies for the ride came back without any limbs.
Bone-breaker: The dummies return with limbs missing at Thorpe Park (Picture: PA)

Following a test run of the of the UK’s newest rollercoaster, due to open in just 49 days, some of the test dummies were left ‘alarmingly’ damaged following collisions with some of the rides ‘extreme “near miss” spots’.

The theme park, located in Surrey, have confirmed ‘drastic measures’ have been taken to amend the problems after an emergency response team were called out to fix the ride.

Some of the mannequins were left without any arms or legs following the hell-raising ride which promises to leave thrill-seekers ‘exposed and vulnerable to the extreme near misses and gut-wrenching inversions as it rips through the sky on its mission of complete annihilation.’

Some of the dummies came abck without any limbs (Picture: Jeff Spicer/Thorpe Park/PA Wire)

After a 127 ft inverted drop the ride will leave theme park goers ‘fighting for their life’ as a few of the test dummies found out for themselves.

Thorpe Park director Mike Vallis is now confident that the ride is completely safe ahead of the ride’s grand opening on March 15.

‘We have been planning for The Swarm for almost two years now, and we’ve pushed the boundaries to the absolute limit because “extreme” is what our thrill-seeking customers demand,’ said Vallis.

‘The ride-testing phase is absolutely crucial in ensuring extreme fun doesn’t compromise safety, and we work with the very best teams in the world to ensure we reach the gold standard in safety.’

Some skeptics however believe it could be a publicity stunt devised by a cunning PR team ahead of the big day.