Happy April Fools

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Sexy Girl of the Day


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April Fools


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April Fools
















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Ohio State’s vet school has Michigan fire hydrant for dogs


The best rivalries in sports don’t have an offseason. We all know this, which is sort of a basic litmus test for how serious your favorite rivalry is.

A second test is how far the rivalry extends beyond sports and into areas of life where, you know, we really should not care so much about such trivial things, although we do.
Ohio State-Michigan is the perfect example of a rivalry that passes both tests.

Here’s the latest brilliant example: The Ohio State College of Veterinary Medicine just completed a construction project, and one of the new additions is an area for walking dogs.
What is in that dog-walking area, you ask?

Yes, a Michigan fire hydrant for dogs to piss on.

Here’s photo evidence, courtesy of Eleven Warriors.

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Some military GIFs that are funny, BA and WTF

















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Awww Sheeeeeeeeeeeeet































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Corporate logo fails

















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Internet Explorer is the most feared icon on your desktop
























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What the Fuuuuuuuuuu



































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Toilet prank gone bad – Just For Laughs

A man asks someone to hold his video camera filming a portable toilet. Turns out, they are about to film a terrible prank pulled on a policeman!

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Work Happens




























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Breast Milk Coffee

This is one of my all time Favorites.

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Yeah, that’ll buff out






























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Most Dangerous Swimsuit Model Prank

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Clever man confuses customers with creative in-store reviews















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British Girls On Penis Size – Does Size Matter

Today I’m joined with Ed from twattery to bring you another video, this time we asked some of the hottest British girls their thoughts on penis size and if it’s a big deal to have a small or a big penis. Enjoy the video.

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Quotes on Sex

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004; Thanks for all the laughs)

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.”
Lynn Lavner

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
Camille Paglia

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
George Burns

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.”
Sharon Stone

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
Tiger Woods

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humor)

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”
Robert De Niro

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
Dustin Hoffman

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked’.”
Jerry Seinfeld

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams

” It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers

” Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.”
Steve Martin

” You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”
Emo Phillips

” Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
Oscar Wilde

” It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
George Burns

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6 April Fools’ Day stories we wish were actually true

Trust no one today. 

In fact, just don’t talk to anyone for the entire day. Chances are they’re going to lie to you then shout ‘APRIL FOOOOOLS’ later down the line.

Don’t worry, we’re on your side.

So we’ve debunked a few fake stories that may have caught you out. But how cool would it be if these were real!?

1. The Piggyback app

(Picture: Hailo)

Sadly, you can see a douchey pair of hipsters launching a crowd funding page to get this service up and running.

It’s the new Piggyback feature by taxi app Hailo.

It works like Uber, except you might get to ride something more attractive than a Toyota Hybrid.

2. The Drunk Lock

(Picture: IronmongeryDirect)

Revolutionary, isn’t it?

We know locks are there for our own safety blah blah blaaah, but they’re such a pain in the a*** after 11 White Lightenings and three Jagerbombs.

Stuart Wilson, marketing director, at IronmongeryDirect, said: ‘The Night Lock is proving to be by far the most in demand product in our range and it’s not even available to buy yet.

‘We all know how difficult and frustrating it can be to get a key in the lock the first time, especially when it’s dark, so we created this lock to be the perfect solution for such a common problem.

‘However feedback from our pre-launch customer trial has also revealed that many think the lock will similarly be a godsend for people who have had one too many to drink.’

3. Bouncy Tesco aisles

OMG YES.

There are so many obvious advantages for us. But from a business strategy perspective, this could be exactly what Tesco needs to dig itself out of the financial black hole it’s in.

Daisy O’Farllop, Director of aisle operations at Tesco, said: ‘Introducing bouncy aisles is both a practical and fun solution to help our customers reach products on the top shelves, as well as speed up their shopping trip.

‘Tesco’s patented Spring Stepper Shelf Solutions® will be fitted to the floor, running alongside the shelves, leaving space in the middle of the aisle for customers to walk down with trolleys. We initially planned to trial it in one store, but feedback has been so positive that we’re now scheduling a full roll-out of the bouncy aisles across the UK over the next 12 months

4. Confused.com to make toys instead

(Picture: Matt Crossick/PA Wire)

Great news. The fat man and that robot do our heads in. Please make toys instead.

Actually, don’t they already make a stupid BRIAN toy? Bore off, confused.com.

5. Groupon offers dog talking lessons

(Picture: Groupon)

Epic. It’s about time Groupon offered something more than 25 per cent off Strada *excluding weekends.

The course that everyone in the world would attended promises to teach you simple barking phrases like: ‘Bring me my slippers now, slave dog,’ and; ‘If you don’t stop yapping I’ll drive you to a kennel 58 miles from here and never return.’

6. There is no number 6 – LOLZ – APRIL FOOOOOLS!

 

 

 

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Sexy Girl of the Day

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