Clive White’s Blog

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A selection of cartoons

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Category: cartoon

Police officers crash drink-drive suspect’s sports car into gardens

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Two police officers are being investigated by their own force after crashing an arrested man’s high-powered sports car into the front gardens of two local homes.

The Greater Manchester Police (GMP) officers stopped a Mitsubishi Lancer Evo in the early hours of Friday morning after spotting it being driven in an erratic manner on Hale Road, Hale Barns.

The Evo crashed into two front gardens (PA) The Evo crashed into two front gardens (PA)

They subsequently arrested a 23-year-old man on suspicion of drink-driving and then decided to drive the 156mph car away from the scene.

Minutes later the Evo hit a wall and ploughed into two front gardens at the junction of Hale Road and Rydal Drive, ending up on its side.

One of the officers suffered minor injuries in the crash and the other was severely shaken, but no members of the public were hurt.

GMP immediately began an investigation and suspended the two officers from driving duties.

Chief Superintendent Mark Roberts apologised to local residents for the problems the crash had caused.

“I can assure the local community that this incident will be rigorously investigated,” he added.

One of the homeowners, Russell Lomas, told the BBC: “I was very shocked this morning when I was told two police officers were driving the car.”

Category: News

How to keep an idiot busy

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Category: Pictures, funny

Lifeguard

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Category: Pictures, funny

Russians urged to drink and smoke more to help the economy

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Alexei Kudrin, Russia’s finance minister, has rather bizarrely urged Russians to drink and smoke more – to help the government’s cash flow.

Alexei Kudrin has urged his fellow Russians to crack open the tinnies and light up (Reuters) Alexei Kudrin has urged his fellow Russians to crack open the tinnies and light up (Reuters)

Politicians usually urge citizens to adopt healthier lifestyles, but Mr Kudrin has called for increased consumption of tobacco and alcohol in a bid to lift the state’s revenues.

It’s a position that’s sure to spark debate in the country.

“If you smoke a pack of cigarettes, that means you are giving more to help solve social problems,” commented Kudrin.

“People should understand: Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state,” Kudrin continued.

Russia, noted for its high consumptions of both cigarettes and alcohol, have among the lowest duties on cigarettes in Europe.

In June, plans to double the excise duty on cigarettes from 250 roubles, roughly £5 per 1,000 cigarettes, to 590 roubles (£12.49) by 2013 were outlined.

The finance ministry’s plans are sure to be met with distain by the Russian population, who are famously fond of their tobacco. Not so long ago a cigarette shortage led to protests in the country.

The comments by the minister seem to contradict recent government moves to control Russia’s excessive nature and improve its abysmal life expectancy rates.

Night-time sales of alcohol are now prohibited and the country has adopted a zero-tolerance ban on drink-driving

Category: News, Pictures, weird

Hilarious drawings by seemikedraw

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Category: cartoon

Meet the fish that looks like Shrek

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

A fish nicknamed Shrek has been filmed swimming off the coast of Japan – see video.

Move over Blobfish – here’s ‘Shrek’!

The creature, with its huge chin and lumpy head, makes a good case for being the ugliest fish in the world, a title that’s currently held by the famous Blobfish.

The ‘Shrek’ fish, which scuba divers likened to the famous animated ogre, is actually quite common in Japanese waters.

Shrek: The Ogre star of the hit films Shrek: The Ogre star of the hit films

It’s a type of Asian sheepshead wrasse that feeds on shellfish and crustaceans.

This particular specimen is thought to be around 30 years old and has certainly made a splash with animal lovers.

It’s thought that water-dwelling ‘Shrek’ has never been caught on camera before, so take a look at the video below to see him in action.

Sea-ing is believing!

Category: video, weird

The true facts about Bottled Water

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Category: funny, information

Thought for the day

Posted on | September 4, 2010 | No Comments

Category: admin

The Blonde Joke

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

Category: funny, video

A selection of cartoons

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

Category: cartoon

‘Puppy drowning girl’ found by police

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

A young woman filmed in a disturbing video throwing puppies into a river has been traced in Bosnia, police announced today

The hooded top girl caused worldwide fury when she was shown taking the puppies from a white bucket and throwing them, one by one, into a raging river.

The girl was found as a result of leads given to police by Bosnian animal protection groups, it was revealed.

Velimir Ivanisevic from the Association of Citizens for Prevention of Cruelty Against Animals SOS, had previously said his group received an e-mail that allegedly identified her as a teenager from the central Bosnian town of Bugojno.

Now the girl’s parents will be questioned.

People can be fined up to £4,000 for animal cruelty under Bosnian law

Full story and video here

Category: News

How to use Bacon

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

Category: funny, information

43-yr-old virgin wraps barbed wire around her leg so she won’t have sex

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

A 43-year-old virgin has revealed how she fastens a wire chain around her upper thigh every night to ensure she remains celibate.

woman wraps barbed wire around thigh to stop herself from having sexA cilice: Wearing one will make you feel all warm inside, apparently (Corbis)
Sarah Cassidy, a Manchester University physics graduate, is a senior female figure in Opus Dei, the controversial Catholic group that’s depicted in the Dan Brown bestseller The Da Vinci Code and stands accused of everything from misogyny to elitism.

As fans of the big-screen adaptation of the aforementioned tome will remember, the group’s predilection for ‘mortification of the flesh’ was graphically portrayed via the character of Silas, played by Paul Bettany.

woman wraps barbed wire around thigh to stop herself from having sex Paul Bettany as Silas in The Da Vinci Code: Lovely bloke (Sony)

In a similar fashion to that delightful white-haired chap, Sarah attaches a cilice to her upper thigh for two hours every night.

Note, however, that although the sharp-pronged contraption digs into the skin and flesh, it generally doesn’t draw blood.

Sarah’s fellow Opus Dei member, Eileen Cole, tells the Daily Mail that the apparently masochistic practice is actually ‘less painful than a bikini wax’.

‘The mortification helps you to keep your passions under control and channel your energy,’ she explains.

‘We live in such a materialistic, hedonistic society that people can’t understand you’d actually make yourself a little uncomfortable to help you be more mindful of God.

‘They’ll understand if you go jogging and pounding the streets – which I think is disgusting -just because you want to be thinner, but they won’t understand this.’

Sarah, for her part, had a boyfriend and was in the middle of her degree when she decided a nightly dose of barbed wire was just the ticket for spiritual fulfilment.

‘When I was little, I always imagined that I was going to get married and have children,’ she says.

‘But this is the vocation that God gave me. It’s such a gift, and there’s so much love in there.’

Category: News, Pictures, weird

Elephants

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

Category: cartoon

Cats

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

Category: cartoon

The Truth

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

Category: Pictures

Caterpillars line up for Africa’s shortest migration

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

It may not match some of Africa’s more famous mass migrations, such as the sight of thousands of wildebeest crossing the vast Serengeti plain. But this remarkable, if somewhat shorter, march over a dirt track by more than 100 caterpillars still had tourists marvelling at the wonders of nature.

The caterpillars follow a tiny silk thread to make their way across the track (Pictures: BNPS/Jamie Rooney)

The scene was captured by Jamie Rooney, whose vehicle was held up while the 5m (17ft) creepy-crawly convoy crossed the road in South Africa’s Kruger National Park.

‘It was an incredible sight,’ said the 38-year-old from High Wycombe. ‘We got out to get a closer look and counted 136 caterpillars, all moving together across the track.

‘They were following a very thin silk thread on the ground and it took them about 20 minutes to get across the road safely.

The incredible train of caterpillars stretched for around 17 feet The incredible train of caterpillars stretched for around 17 feet

‘Our guide had never seen it before but he’d heard about it and explained they were migrating into the bush, where they would disperse and turn into chrysalises.

‘It’s like the mass migration of bigger animals like wildebeest but on a different scale – and pace.’

Category: News, Pictures, weird

Very very hilarious

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

You don’t need to understand language just watch the video…..
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The ultimate movie scene of India,or the world may be. ;-) This is a scene from the most expensive telegu movie Magadheera!! :D

Category: funny, video, weird

Unicorn cow becomes tourist attraction

Posted on | September 3, 2010 | No Comments

Farmer Jia Kebing noticed a small bump on this cow’s forehead when it was born two years ago but didn’t expect it to grow into a 20cm (8in) horn.

Image hosting by IMGBoot.com

Unicorn cow stuns farmer in China

‘My farm is famous in this region for this cow and people come in here just to see it,’ said Mr Jia from Baoding in nothern China’s Hebei province

Category: News, Pictures, weird
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