Colombian police seized 2,350 kilos of cocaine they found on just one boat. That’s two tons of cocaine, enough to get you high for a lifetime. The police showed off their catch in public so they could let drug dealers know that no one escapes the law.
Amid disturbing reports about a US man who allegedly tried to have sex with an ATM, before trying his luck with a wooden picnic table, Metro takes a look at other bizarre sex stories that you just couldn’t make up.
7. The guy who tried to have sex with a drinks trolley
Andrew Davidson, 25, had consumed a cocktail of legal highs and alcohol when he attempted to have sex with a drinks trolley on a busy train in 2013.
He was seen humping the trolley while shouting ‘I want to kiss you, I want to f*** you’.
After avoiding a prison sentence, his solicitor said: ‘It is something that has never happened before and is unlikely to ever happen again.’
6. The guy who ‘tried to have sex with an ambulance’
Another 25-year-old man was arrested after setting fire to a packet of peanuts before appearing ‘to try and make love to an ambulance’.
A court heard the man was in ‘relatively high spirits’ on a night out in Barnstaple, Devon, in 2011.
He was given a community order and told to pay a victim surcharge of £60.
5. The guy who tried to have sex with a car wash vacuum
In 2008, a US man was arrested for ‘receiving sexual favours from a vacuum’ at a car wash in Michigan.
A witness, who saw the man acting suspiciously, said: ‘I’ve seen some strange things, but this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.’
4. The vicar hospitalised with a potato up his bum
A clumsy vicar was hospitalised in Sheffield after accidentally getting a potato stuck up his bum, but it was definitely not due to a sex game.
Nurse Trudi Watson said: ‘He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.’
3. The guy who had sex with his girlfriend’s dog
A teenager avoided jail after filming himself having sex with his girlfriend’s pet dog called Rudi.
Wayne Bryson’s girlfriend found the shocking footage on his mobile phone. A court heard it ‘was 30 seconds of madness’.
2. The guy who tried to have sex with sheep after a cow turned him down
An IT worker tried to have sex with a sheep after a cow turned him down.
The court heard: ‘He did not successfully penetrate the mouth of a cow with his penis and he then moved to another part of the field and tried his luck with some sheep.’
1. The guy who likes cheese a bit too much
This guy likes to drive around his neighbourhood and offer women money to put cheese on his genitals (allegedly).
Chris Pagano, dubbed the Swiss cheese pervert, was arrested after police released a photo of a trouserless man dangling a slice of the smelly stuff in the air.